Posts Tagged ‘proactive’

Why Do We Do It?

Friday, September 11th, 2009

We are goal directed beings.  We’re always accomplishing something.  Which means there is always a reason for what we do. Getting a glass of water, getting drunk; talking about our faith, telling a lie; starting a business, selling a business, or any of millions of possible choices, there’s always a reason why.

Usually, we don’t examine that reason – we don’t even think about it.  We don’t do things intentionally.

But, what if we always understood the intent behind our actions?  Would we make better choices?  I think so.

The implications could be life changing – couldn’t they?

That’s one reason why writing our goals and reviewing them regularly is so powerful.  These two actions identify and reinforce our framework  and helps guide the selection of what we do daily.  Subconsciously, we make better choices.  Better choices yield better results.

Writing and reviewing our goals creates a direction for us and frees us from the need to constantly examine the reason behind every action.  So, I guess goal-setting is a life skill and a time management skill.

Hoping or Changing?

Saturday, June 20th, 2009

 

I was talking today with a recent graduate of the Dale Carnegie Course.  We’ve been trying to get together to visit for a few weeks.  In our game of telephone tag, he was “it.”  

 

When he called, he apologized for not getting back to me sooner.  He said he’d been busy.

 

“Good busy?” I asked.

 

“Yep.  In fact, I have a success story”

 

“So, that Dale Carnegie stuff does work, eh?”

 

“Yeah, I guess it does.”

 

“I’ll look forward to hearing about your success when we visit.”

 

Five months ago, when he enrolled, I assured him his increase in commissions would pay for the 12-week course before it was over.  In fact, I promised him, if he attended every session, and did what we asked him to do, at the end of twelve weeks, if he determined it wasn’t worth it, I’d refund his money.

 

He paid for it himself.  Then the economy really went into the tank.  

 

While the Texas economy is better than many parts of the country, it is still tough.  As much as some might say, Texas is not independent of the rest of the country or independent of the rest of the world.  The Texas economy is interdependent, just like everyone else.  

 

By consistently applying what we covered each week, he continued to grow and increase his sales — despite the economy.

 

So, what made the difference for our graduate?  In a word – confidence.

 

If that sound too simple, too easy, to “pat,” think about where confidence comes into play in your life:

 

– making the decision to invest in your employees

– deciding to push harder to get new customers

– determining to create the circumstances you want

– making that cold call

– firing that particular employee

– allowing your employees to make a mistake

– making the decision to expand when everyone else is deciding to contract

– believing in your new idea when everyone else says it won’t work

– asking for outside help to identify areas for increased efficiencies

– staying consistent with your teenager

– admitting mistakes

– asking good questions in your sales process

– creating your schedule and sticking to it

– saying “no” to the good so you can say “yes” to what is best

– conducting a group presentation

– conducting an effective meeting

– proposing a toast at your daughter’s wedding

– taking enough “no’s” to get to “yes”

– dealing with difficult people

– not second-guessing your (unpopular) decisions

– not worrying about what you can’t control so you can focus on what you can

– being approachable so your people can tell you what is REALLY going on

– trying a new marketing campaign

 

Yes, we could go on and on; you get the idea.

 

Almost everything we do proactively requires some level of confidence.

 

OK, what is confidence?

 

Confidence is an attitude.  Confidence is belief in yourself and in your ability to handle a particular situation.  True self-confidence isn’t necessarily loud; the truly self-confident person doesn’t need to constantly prove himself (or herself).  They tend to be the ones who’ve earned their success through hard work and demonstrated competence.  The self-confident individual doesn’t need outside validation anymore.  (Although, it’s still nice to get some validation once in a while.)

 

So. how do we get “confidence”?  And, equally important, how do we keep it?

 

A friend of mine was telling me about UFL (Ultimate Fighting League).  He used to box.  Now, he’s a big fan of the UFL.  We were talking about attitude, and he gave me an analogy.  

 

If David (my friend) were to fight Royce Gracie (former UFL champion), he’d probably get a whuppin’.  But, imagine if Royce’s manager and trainer had come to Royce immediately before their match and “confessed” to Royce he really was not as good as he thought.  In fact, every opponent he had ever faced was paid to take a dive.  David is the first one to refuse the money.  And, they have never seen anyone as hungry, focused and driven as David.  You don’t stand a chance.

 

Then, they go to David, and tell him that Royce’s championship was bought and paid for.  Royce has never faced anyone as determined and skilled as David.  David is going to turn Royce every which way but loose.

 

AND, to avoid the scandal, the manager and trainer are leaving on a plane to South America in fifteen minutes. 

 

Royce might feel a little less confident; David’s attitude would be great.  

 

When they step into the cage together, David will be confident of a win; Royce maybe a little less sure.  When the bell rings and the match begins, both of them will get an attitude adjustment — back to what it should’ve been all along.

 

Isn’t that what happens to us – daily?  We start the day confident about what we’re going to accomplish.  Then, 

 

WHAP! – Our major customer calls, unhappy with the way the last order was handled.

(punch right to the solar plexus)

 

POW! – That jerk at in the next office got the promotion I should’ve gotten.

(elbow smash to the face)

 

BAM! – The major pain in the office shows up to “talk” about our upcoming presentation together.

(submission hold)

 

Unfortunately, we can’t “tap out” in life.  Once that match begins, it goes until it’s over.

 

But, we can improve as we go through life.

 

Life has two choices for you:  

 

You can lose.  

 

Or, if you choose to win, you can change.


A little bit on vision

Monday, May 25th, 2009

Elaborating on Vision (done for session 12)

Well, we’ve climbed to the top of a mountain. What a great view! It’s awesome. Take some time. Enjoy it. Then after a bit of time, ask yourself the question……..

Now, what?

When we get to the top of a mountain, by all means, it’s important to take time to enjoy the view and relish our success. But after the celebration, the next step, and an important one, is deciding which mountain do I choose to climb next? And, what will the view look like from the top of that mountain? This is more than goal-setting.

For twelve weeks in the Dale Carnegie Course, we work on developing the ability to paint pictures in the minds of our listeners. Starting in an incident, we help our audience form a picture in their minds that matches the picture in ours.

This is basically the same. Imagine you are the speaker, describing an incident to you, the audience. It’s merely a moment in time – that just hasn’t happened, yet. Your job is to paint the picture of what you want for yourself.

  • What are you doing?
  • What are you seeing?
  • What are you saying?
  • What are you hearing?
  • What are you smelling?
  • What are you sensing?

This is not difficult despite how others have made it sound.

  • What do you daydream about? (Or, what do you worry about? Then, imagine what the opposite would look like.)
  • When you think about what you want your life to look like, what excites you?
  • To where does your mind wander when not thinking about a specific problem? Let your imagination run wild and dream.

It’s vital to create a clear and compelling vision of our future. Without it, we’ll lose interest. When it gets hard, we’ll give up. So, how do we know it’s compelling? You’ll know what’s compelling to you when:

  • You think about it automatically when you wake up in the middle of the night;
  • It’s exciting enough to cause you to change;
  • It’s exciting enough for you to want to get better;
  • It’s exciting enough for you to to work harder and it doesn’t seem harder;
  • It’s exciting enough for you to want to be more effective.

A compelling vision fuels the changes we need to make.

Maybe, the long-term goal, the long-term vision, is way off in the future. As you pursue it, what would your life look like three to six months down the road toward it?

Determining and deciding on your vision may be one of the most important things you ever do. Most people don’t decide to go anywhere in life, so they never get anywhere in life.

According to insurance statistics, of 100 individuals beginning at age 25, by age 65, 95% will be dead, or dead broke. Only the top 5% will be successful.

95% of people never write down their goals; 5% do. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

MY WAGE

I bargained with Life for a penny,
And Life would pay no more;
However I begged at evening
When I counted my scanty store;

For Life is a just employer,
He gives you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages,
Why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menial’s hire,
Only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life,
Life would have gladly paid.

–J.B. Rittenhouse

Decide what you want, write it down, and go for it.

Success will come. (Just remember: opportunity is often missed because it arrives dressed in work clothes.)