Posts Tagged ‘natural inclinations’

Why Do We Do It?

Friday, September 11th, 2009

We are goal directed beings.  We’re always accomplishing something.  Which means there is always a reason for what we do. Getting a glass of water, getting drunk; talking about our faith, telling a lie; starting a business, selling a business, or any of millions of possible choices, there’s always a reason why.

Usually, we don’t examine that reason – we don’t even think about it.  We don’t do things intentionally.

But, what if we always understood the intent behind our actions?  Would we make better choices?  I think so.

The implications could be life changing – couldn’t they?

That’s one reason why writing our goals and reviewing them regularly is so powerful.  These two actions identify and reinforce our framework  and helps guide the selection of what we do daily.  Subconsciously, we make better choices.  Better choices yield better results.

Writing and reviewing our goals creates a direction for us and frees us from the need to constantly examine the reason behind every action.  So, I guess goal-setting is a life skill and a time management skill.

Everyone’s Got a Story

Saturday, August 8th, 2009

I was at a Dale Carnegie Course graduation this week.

One of the graduates was talking about what he gained from his twelve weeks in the program.  His realization – everyone’s got a story.

We often (usually?) make judgements about others based solely upon what we see.  It’s like looking through a keyhole in the front door of a mansion and claiming to know where everything – rooms, paintings, tapestries, furniture, silverware, closets, beds, linen, etc. – is inside.  We can’t even see the entire front hallway.

Dale Carnegie said, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested you.”  It’s amazing, when we strive to “Become genuinely interested in other people” (principle #4), they do become genuinely interesting to us.

The hard part is getting past our own initial judgement, so we can at least open the door and see the hallway.

Emotionally Rewarding

Monday, July 20th, 2009

Dale Carnegie’s first principle is: “Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain.”

Simple – NOT easy.  In fact, this principle goes so against our natural inclinations that Dale Carnegie put it first.

Does not criticizing mean we are always “positive”?  Nothing is ever wrong?

No.  If it did, how would we correct the real-life performance or behavior problems existing in all of us (and in everyone else)?

This is more about the attitude we choose (yes, choose) when confronting daily problems.  It changes the questions we ask ourselves in a given situation from:  “Why are they like this/doing this?” to “How can I change this behavior/outcome/situation to achieve a different result?

For instance, when we’ve got an employee who isn’t performing, rather than go use our brainpower to explain why this person behaves the way they do (they’re a jerk, they never talk to anyone, they’re lazy, they’re stupid, etc.), let’s use it to identify or develop a solution to it.

In the short run, it may not be as emotionally rewarding as what we’re accustomed to doing.  That said, in the (not very) long run, not only is it more emotionally rewarding, it is significantly more financially rewarding (particularly when we learn to apply it to ourselves).