Posts Tagged ‘feeling’

Manipulation -v- Motivation

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

In our management program, Leadership Training for Managers, we delve into the difference between manipulation and motivation.

One key difference – the results produced by engaging, long-term, in one behavior or the other.  Manipulation, over time, leads to resentment and compliance; motivation leads to cooperation.

The challenge is to determine which we engage in most often.  It’s made more difficult because the ultimate arbiter is the other person.  All we have to go on is our own perspective.

So, how do you determine if you’re manipulating?  Actually, it’s pretty simple.

If you think you’re manipulating, you are.

End Construction

Sunday, August 2nd, 2009

Recently, I came to one of the many US highway areas “under construction.”

At 1:00 am, the maze of orange cones, orange barrels, flashing lights, concrete barriers and reflective tape was very noticeable in the pitch black.  What was not noticeable?  The entrance to the labyrinth.  I’m sure the traffic engineer who designed this knew exactly how traffic was supposed to navigate through it.  But, it’s not intuitively obvious at 75…. errrr at 65 miles per hour.

I slowed to a crawl, found the entrance, and breathed a sigh of relief when I finally saw the “end construction” sign several miles later.

What’s it like for your prospect navigating through your company’s sales process; or your customer navigating your customer service process; or maybe one of your employees navigating some new software or procedure?

Just because it’s obvious to you (the builder) doesn’t mean it’s obvious, friendly, or easy to anyone else.  While we can rush right through it, they need to slow down, get their bearings and at least see the entrance.

When your sales, customer service, and human resource professionals try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view, they’ll be more able to reassure, guide, and build trust with with your prospects, customers, and employees

Constantly Warming-Up

Thursday, July 9th, 2009

How many football games have we seen – high school, college, NFL – where the players didn’t “warm up”?  Football, basketball, baseball, wrestling, field hockey, soccer, bowling, badminton, softball, track and field – players warm up at all of them.  In fact, in my times of attending sporting events as a fan – or player – I can recall ZERO times when the players didn’t warm up before the game.

How about you?

That’s what I thought.

What makes “warming up” so important it’s done before every game?  What does “warming up” do for the players?

  • Warming up gets muscles loose and prevents injury.
  • Warming up helps players focus on the upcoming game.
  • Warming up gets players into the rhythm of the game so it’s more like stepping onto one of those moving sidewalks instead of jumping onto a speeding train.
  • Warming up helps eliminate (or at least minimize) pre-game jitters.

Golfers also have a “pre-shot” routine.  Most golfers focus on what NOT to do (i.e. DON’T hit in the water; DON’T hit out of bounds; DON’T hit into the sand; DON’T move my head, etc.).  Good golfers focus on what TO do (i.e. keep my head still; hit it straight swing easy, hit hard).  Great golfers focus on the OUTCOME (i.e. high, straight drive off the tee, two bounces and rolling to a stop ten yards left of the tree at the dogleg).

Essentially, it’s a “warm up” for every shot.

What happens?  Golfers tend to get what we focus on.  Most golfers hit into the water, out of bounds, into the sand.  Good golfers tend to keep their heads still, hit it straight(er), swing easier and hit harder.  Great golfers tend to hit the high straight drive off the tee, two bounces and rolling to a stop ten yards left of the tree at the dogleg.

It happens for almost every shot.

A couple of days ago, I was out calling on new business.  I was dragging my ……errrr..… feet.  Trudging to the entrance of an office building in North Texas, I was focused on how hot it was, how hard it is with the current economy, how much harder it is to find businesses willing to invest in their people.  Walking toward the mirrored glass building, I saw my reflection.  I didn’t like what I saw.

My posture looked dejected.  If I was a business owner and saw a salesman with my look coming in, I wouldn’t want that person talking to my people.  I wouldn’t have believed him or her when they were talking about changing attitudes and behaviors for the good, overcoming stress and worry, creating a more positive work environment.  I would’ve thought:  “You need to take your own medicine.”

So, I did.

At the risk of sounding Pollyanna”ish,” I realized my “negative” self-talk was affecting my results negatively.  At least it was affecting my own attitude negatively.  So, I changed my self-talk.

I noticed an immediate change in my attitude, motivation, posture, and expression.

William James said it many years ago:

“Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.

The voluntary path to cheerfulness, if our spontaneous cheerfulness be lost, is to sit up cheerfully. and act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there. To feel brave,act as if we were brave, use all our will to that end, and courage will very likely replace fear. If we act as if from some better feeling, the bad feeling soon folds it tent like an Arab and silently steals away.”

Will this make the economy better?  Probably not.  Can it help us deal more effectively with whatever comes our way?  Probably so.  Can it help my results?  Maybe.  Will I enjoy it more.  Definitely.

We all have “warm-up” or “pre-shot” routines we perform regularly.  The big question is:  “does your warm-up routine help you – or hurt you?”